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| I used to be that girl, and I was her for a long time. I sleep alone. I miss that girl.
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| You know it's amazing how time goes by. Certain days feel like they last forever, you can feel like you have known someone forever when you have known them for a week, and when you are hanging out with someone you enjoy time slips away. I am 19 years old, and often times I feel like I am still 16. Its hard....
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Hey Mercedes - Eleven To Your Seven
A complicated sunset
Sets the mood within the room
All bets are up and
We keep looking down
To try and find
The will to turn this around.
I spent the last three months
In mental traction
Woeing all I could forsee
I slept myself free and
Cursed at all awake
The medicine I'd take.
I broke down
On the train to southtown
Midway inbound
Eleven to your seven
I held out
Carrying this crutch around
Angry words came rushing out
Eleven to your seven.
Now I could pound on the keys so hard and
Make the mallets slap the strings and
Pump the pedals till I'm breathless and
Sing off key and
Wouldn't that be just like me?
Now people in the back yell hey
When they see me today
I got a smile so wide it stems offstage
They say go go you gone soul and
For all I know
They now know
Oh no.
You broke down
As I tore the pages out
During all the painful parts
Eleven to your seven
You held out
Carrying your diary around
Angry ink came rushing out
Eleven to your seven.
So we finished the night and
We laud the long ride
Because it leads to my own bed
So at least tonight
My head will be alright.
We broke down
Miles out of Morgantown
A midnight rainstorm crashing down
Not one breathing soul around
Eleven to your seven.
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| I've got a word of advice for whoever comes across this. Don't ever fall in love with your best friend, or don't make the person you are in love with your best friend, because sooner or later you won't be able to hang out with them anymore because everytime you do your heart breaks a little more and then you will feel like you have no one, you will feel like someone hit you with a truck and you'll feel like your heart is a tunnel that is way too small for whatever is trying to get in. You'll go to bed lonely and not want to wake up because everything you see will remind you of them. And you'll be all alone.
Sadness is kinda comforting.It's really comforting when you can't remember the time before this when you were actually sad and not angry. I wish I could be angry instead, because when you are angry, your insides don't hurt, you don't hurt until later, when you're sad it always hurts.
"I can figure out the point of anything, just not as quick as I can mess up my life."
Motion City Soundtrack - Point of Extinction
Are you listening javelina?
Every corner of the coast is still clear
All dressed up with some medicine for luck
How I hope that you're still here when I return
Burning bridges is a form of suicide
I saw the fires as the ghost of my life
Passed me by and there is nowhere you can hide from
The lessons or the lies that bind them
I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned, you'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up
Can we count on our conversations
To restore us like Energon cubes?
Made one wish for a permanent kiss
That would echo through these bones like arsenic
I can figure out the point of anything
Just not as quick as I can mess up my life
With all my dreams hooked to hospital machines
I think, "let's try redefining beautiful"
I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned, you'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up
This is the best that it will get
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, give it up, give it up!)
This is the best that it will get
(Yeah, yeah, give it up!)
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of it!
I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned, you'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up
I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned, you'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up
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| It's hard, and confusing. Part of me is happy that Ryne broke up with me on account of I probably shouldn't be in a relationship these days. but I want to be with him. I miss being able to kiss him for no reason other than I want to, and I miss the cuddling. Him and I are so fucking close, he understands me better than anyone I have ever met. We are so similar and so different at the same time, and I love him more than I thought was possible. I went with him to Christmas at his Aunt Diane's house. I love his family, it reminds me of mine when I was younger. I just feel like I got hit by a truck and a fucking huge one at that. One that someone was jousting out the side of. I am trying so hard to keep my shit together. I need help.
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